Print this pageWhen someone special dies
Here are some of the feelings that we have experienced since a special person to us died. You may not feel all of these feelings, all of the time. You may have different feelings to the ones described.
SAD – You may show your sadness by crying either in front of others or when you are on your own. Sometimes you may feel that you must put on a brave face to make others think you are fine or because you don’t want to upset family members etc.
ANGRY – You can feel angry after someone has died; angry at them for leaving you; for not looking after themselves; for taking their own life; at yourself; at family members; at the world. It is ok to feel angry, however it is important to find safe ways of expressing it.
WORRIED – You may feel worried about what will happen next, is someone else going to die? You may feel worried about being apart from other people who are special to you.
RELIEF – You may feel relieved when someone has died particularly when that person may have done things to hurt or upset you. You may feel some relief if the person has been really poorly and suffering for a time.
THINKING ABOUT DEATH – You may start to think about death and think about beliefs about what happens after we die. You might find this upsetting and scary.
GUILT – You may think about all the things you should have said or done or maybe wished you hadn’t said or done. You may blame yourself for the death or for not being able to prevent it.
QUESTIONS / FEELING CONFUSED – You might have questions about why the person died or why they chose to take their own life.
NUMB / SHOCKED – You can feel numb when you have been told someone has died. Even for some time after it may be hard to accept it or believe that the person is not coming back.
MIXED UP – Your feelings may seem like they have got all mixed up inside which can make it hard to explain how you feel. It can seem overwhelming at times.
SELF HARM – Sometimes all of these feelings can feel like too much and so you may feel like hurting yourself. You need to find other appropriate ways of expressing and coping with these feelings.
POSITIVE – There may be times when you feel comforted by remembering special times together. Doing things that the person who died did may make you feel closer to them.
HAVING NO ENERGY – After someone has died you may feel that you have no energy or will to do anything. This may include sleeping a lot or not wanting to eat. This can change from day to day.
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